summer vaca

Well, I am on vacation this week!  Today I took my kiddos to my aunt's pool!  I put on a bathing suit!  Been a long time since I wore a bathing suit!  But I did it!  I even went swimming with the kids!  I had a blast!  

Here is my swimsuit!

Here is me and my kiddos in the water

I have had a wonderful vacation, being active, taking the kids to the park, walking ( I walked about 10 miles yesterday and 6 miles Monday)!  I didn't walk this morning due to the rain, so I am hoping to go tonight!  I did exercise already today (swimming)!

So back to reality!  My dad had his worse day yet!  Oh the vomiting was non stop all night and all morning yesterday!  Its so hard to see him suffering from this horrible disease!  I Hate IT!  My mom and myself decided to sit down with my girls yesterday and talk about Bumpy (my dad) and how he has cancer.  My oldest (Hannah) who is Bumpy's little girl!!!!!!!!!  Was very quiet and not quite sure what all this meant...later last night I went to her room and her and I talked about it a little more and I explained it a bit more detailed and told her it is ok to be scared and it's OK to cry!  Soon as I said that, she broke into tears and hugged me and didn't let go!  (I cried too)!  I am heart broken to see her so scared and worried!

Well, camping this weekend!  I can't wait!  Then back to work on Tuesday next week!  My boss is on maternity leave and the new case manager who is workin with me will be on maternity leave too in August!  So things will be back to chaos in a few weeks!  :)   My life as we know it!

Therapy again on Friday morning 7am!  I also called my Dr to up my dose of Prozac... now up to 40 mg and Ativan as needed!!!

me and my hubby by pool ( i have no make up on )!  SCARY!!!!

Take Care Everyone,

~Mandy

ReFocus

So as I posted the other night, life has been a bit Crazy these past few months!  I must honestly say that since I had my Lap Band Removed, things have just been going in a downward spiral!  I have become not only a care giver to my kids, but my dad and grandparents too!  Amazing I am taking care of 3 generations (2 before and one after me)!!!


I have now become the main person for my grandfathers Dr. Appointments!  Not sure why, but it always seems as though he doesn't get mad at me!  (I tell him like it is)!  "YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DR!  You just had a Freak-in Knee replacement and your leg should not be discolored like that!  CALL THE DR!"  As an old stubborn Irish Man, Grandpa refused to call the Dr..... So I did it for him!  I was furious to find out a baseball hit him in the knee a few days before that why his leg was bruised!  I love him dearly!  I also called his Heart Dr to schedule an appointment for his follow up.  


I have been taking time off of work to go to the Dr's with my dad too!  Chemo, Radiation, blood work, and stool samples!  Calling the Oxygen place cause the machine isn't working!  Making sure his weight is maintaining and he isn't losing too much.  Today he was the same as last week! His pain is being managed, better than before!  We just pray every day that treatment will help him and help improve his quality of life!  I have yet to tell my kids anything and I know they are worried, but I at first need to be OK with this diagnosis... and I am still not!  I am still in shock!  


When my Nana was coming home from Rehab, I needed to call insurance companies, medical supply companies, and Dr's office to get prescriptions and supplies for her to come home.  Commodes, shower chairs, ect....  


My husband and I have always had troubles with his ex.. and now they have just gotten worse!  I flipped out on her!  I not sure where all the anger is coming from... but she really gets under my skin!  Maybe now that I am not going to let her "run" my life, as she has in the past.  We always finagle our schedule accommodating her!  NO MORE SWEETHEART!  Thursday was our anniversary, and I told her we would not be home on Friday night.  Apparently she had plans and told me "NO, Natasha goes Friday to Sunday this weekend"!  Ummm... NOPE NOT THIS TIME!  Do you know the Crazy bitch sat in our driveway for 45 mins waiting for us to come home!  We didn't answer the phones or anything!  Then on Saturday she dropped her off and started her shit!  I am so tired of this shit now!  I could no longer keep my mouth shut!  Nearly 7 years of keepin quiet!  I have grown a pair of balls and WOW!!!!  HA Ha Ha... So I guess she is taking us back to court again!  


I am on vaca this week and excited to just have some time off to help clear my mind.  My kids are now out of school for the summer, they are drivin me nutty already!  I will be glad to get back to work on the 5th of July! LOL~  


Well, Take Care Everyone!  I have missed blogging!  

~Mandy

time for a new look

hope you like it!!!  and the new title.

Time Flies

Amazing that I have not been bloggin in so long!  At least that is what it seems like... So long ago!!!!

Well, I welcome you to another crazy post ... I think I will change my blog to "A day in the CRAZY life of Mandy, Mother, wife, full time worker, daughter, granddaughter, care take of 3 generations..."  ext ext...

Hmmmm where to begin!  I have gained a total of 8 lbs since they removed my lap band!  I am now weighing at 186!  Grrrrrr!!!!!  Its all right though!!!  I know I am stressed (TO THE MAX)!!!!  I am walking/jogging every morning!  I am workin out, so I guess I am building up so muscles???????  Who the hell knows!

My weight is the least of my worries at the moment!  I began Therapy!  Yuppers, I got myself into Therapy!  Honestly, I never really sat back and looked at how much shit I am going through at the moment!  My therapist...was SHOCKED at everything going on in my life at the moment and amazed at how CALM I seem!

Well, my dad began Chemo and has been doing fairly well so far!  Just been really nauseous  from it.  My Nana is home from Rehab (thank god)!  I am on Vacation this week coming!

Oh I had an argument with my husbands ex!  OH MY GOSH!!!!  I CAN'T F********* STAND HER!  That post will be for another time!  But anywhoooooo...

 Me and My Husband's Anniversary was Thursday!  I got us tickets for Creedence Clearwater!  (HE LOVES THEM)!  Here is a few pics of us!!!!!

Exercise

So I have been super serious about exercise!  I am up every morning at 4:30... down to the field for 4:45... I walk 1 1/2 miles.. then come to work a half hour early and walk some more!  It is a great way to just give me some time for myself and clear my head!

I am addicted to walking!!!!!!

~Mandy

Staying Strong

Hello everyone,

Hope everyone is well!  Hope everyone is enjoying this hot weather we have been having!  I have been super hot... and I really hoped that when I lost weight it wouldn't be so bad!  I still sweat like a damn pig!  It's disgusting!  Ha ha... but on to other things...

Oh, the amount of stress on my plate has just tripled in the past week!  Well, lets begin with another gain this week!  Yeah only .4, but that brings my total to 2 lbs now... (GAINED)!  My PCP told me not to worry about the pounds gained!  As long as I am staying active and eating healthy ... I may be gaining muscle or maybe its water weight with the heat!  I was told to check my measurements now... instead of always worrying about the numbers..

As far as my dad goes.... OH MY GOD!  My  mom broke down the other morning!  It was so hard to see her break the way she did... My mom has always been the strong one, the rock..!  It  was really really hard to stay strong for her.  Mom begged me to go to the Oncology appointment with them, she couldn't go through it alone! 

The Oncologist is wonderful, she showed us the CT Scan and he has a total of 3 tumors.  2 on the right and 1 on left lung.  The one on the top right lung is huge and takin up most of his right lung (reason of such difficulty breathing)!  I am happy that the Oncologist ordered more tests (PET Scan and MRI) to see if it has spread!  My dad will be starting Chemo and Radiation next week!   

I finally broke down the other night and cried myself to sleep!  I have been walking and it is helping to reduce the stress... but my stress level is through the roof!  My PCP gave me some ativan to help with the anxiety and panic attacks...

I decided that for myself I was going to need some therapy!  I really need to get some counseling!  I have been through so much the past year.. major life changes and I don't even know who else to talk to!  Most changes for the best... but now with my dad in the mix... this is just alot for me to handle!

So my first session is the 22nd!  The best part about her (the new therapist).. she specializes in eating disorders!  I thought it would be perfect since everything I went through with the LapBand!

~Mandy

Smile

My smile... always makes look happy!  But I am hurtin so much on the inside!!!