ReFocus

So as I posted the other night, life has been a bit Crazy these past few months!  I must honestly say that since I had my Lap Band Removed, things have just been going in a downward spiral!  I have become not only a care giver to my kids, but my dad and grandparents too!  Amazing I am taking care of 3 generations (2 before and one after me)!!!


I have now become the main person for my grandfathers Dr. Appointments!  Not sure why, but it always seems as though he doesn't get mad at me!  (I tell him like it is)!  "YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DR!  You just had a Freak-in Knee replacement and your leg should not be discolored like that!  CALL THE DR!"  As an old stubborn Irish Man, Grandpa refused to call the Dr..... So I did it for him!  I was furious to find out a baseball hit him in the knee a few days before that why his leg was bruised!  I love him dearly!  I also called his Heart Dr to schedule an appointment for his follow up.  


I have been taking time off of work to go to the Dr's with my dad too!  Chemo, Radiation, blood work, and stool samples!  Calling the Oxygen place cause the machine isn't working!  Making sure his weight is maintaining and he isn't losing too much.  Today he was the same as last week! His pain is being managed, better than before!  We just pray every day that treatment will help him and help improve his quality of life!  I have yet to tell my kids anything and I know they are worried, but I at first need to be OK with this diagnosis... and I am still not!  I am still in shock!  


When my Nana was coming home from Rehab, I needed to call insurance companies, medical supply companies, and Dr's office to get prescriptions and supplies for her to come home.  Commodes, shower chairs, ect....  


My husband and I have always had troubles with his ex.. and now they have just gotten worse!  I flipped out on her!  I not sure where all the anger is coming from... but she really gets under my skin!  Maybe now that I am not going to let her "run" my life, as she has in the past.  We always finagle our schedule accommodating her!  NO MORE SWEETHEART!  Thursday was our anniversary, and I told her we would not be home on Friday night.  Apparently she had plans and told me "NO, Natasha goes Friday to Sunday this weekend"!  Ummm... NOPE NOT THIS TIME!  Do you know the Crazy bitch sat in our driveway for 45 mins waiting for us to come home!  We didn't answer the phones or anything!  Then on Saturday she dropped her off and started her shit!  I am so tired of this shit now!  I could no longer keep my mouth shut!  Nearly 7 years of keepin quiet!  I have grown a pair of balls and WOW!!!!  HA Ha Ha... So I guess she is taking us back to court again!  


I am on vaca this week and excited to just have some time off to help clear my mind.  My kids are now out of school for the summer, they are drivin me nutty already!  I will be glad to get back to work on the 5th of July! LOL~  


Well, Take Care Everyone!  I have missed blogging!  

~Mandy

time for a new look

hope you like it!!!  and the new title.

Time Flies

Amazing that I have not been bloggin in so long!  At least that is what it seems like... So long ago!!!!

Well, I welcome you to another crazy post ... I think I will change my blog to "A day in the CRAZY life of Mandy, Mother, wife, full time worker, daughter, granddaughter, care take of 3 generations..."  ext ext...

Hmmmm where to begin!  I have gained a total of 8 lbs since they removed my lap band!  I am now weighing at 186!  Grrrrrr!!!!!  Its all right though!!!  I know I am stressed (TO THE MAX)!!!!  I am walking/jogging every morning!  I am workin out, so I guess I am building up so muscles???????  Who the hell knows!

My weight is the least of my worries at the moment!  I began Therapy!  Yuppers, I got myself into Therapy!  Honestly, I never really sat back and looked at how much shit I am going through at the moment!  My therapist...was SHOCKED at everything going on in my life at the moment and amazed at how CALM I seem!

Well, my dad began Chemo and has been doing fairly well so far!  Just been really nauseous  from it.  My Nana is home from Rehab (thank god)!  I am on Vacation this week coming!

Oh I had an argument with my husbands ex!  OH MY GOSH!!!!  I CAN'T F********* STAND HER!  That post will be for another time!  But anywhoooooo...

 Me and My Husband's Anniversary was Thursday!  I got us tickets for Creedence Clearwater!  (HE LOVES THEM)!  Here is a few pics of us!!!!!

Exercise

So I have been super serious about exercise!  I am up every morning at 4:30... down to the field for 4:45... I walk 1 1/2 miles.. then come to work a half hour early and walk some more!  It is a great way to just give me some time for myself and clear my head!

I am addicted to walking!!!!!!

~Mandy

Staying Strong

Hello everyone,

Hope everyone is well!  Hope everyone is enjoying this hot weather we have been having!  I have been super hot... and I really hoped that when I lost weight it wouldn't be so bad!  I still sweat like a damn pig!  It's disgusting!  Ha ha... but on to other things...

Oh, the amount of stress on my plate has just tripled in the past week!  Well, lets begin with another gain this week!  Yeah only .4, but that brings my total to 2 lbs now... (GAINED)!  My PCP told me not to worry about the pounds gained!  As long as I am staying active and eating healthy ... I may be gaining muscle or maybe its water weight with the heat!  I was told to check my measurements now... instead of always worrying about the numbers..

As far as my dad goes.... OH MY GOD!  My  mom broke down the other morning!  It was so hard to see her break the way she did... My mom has always been the strong one, the rock..!  It  was really really hard to stay strong for her.  Mom begged me to go to the Oncology appointment with them, she couldn't go through it alone! 

The Oncologist is wonderful, she showed us the CT Scan and he has a total of 3 tumors.  2 on the right and 1 on left lung.  The one on the top right lung is huge and takin up most of his right lung (reason of such difficulty breathing)!  I am happy that the Oncologist ordered more tests (PET Scan and MRI) to see if it has spread!  My dad will be starting Chemo and Radiation next week!   

I finally broke down the other night and cried myself to sleep!  I have been walking and it is helping to reduce the stress... but my stress level is through the roof!  My PCP gave me some ativan to help with the anxiety and panic attacks...

I decided that for myself I was going to need some therapy!  I really need to get some counseling!  I have been through so much the past year.. major life changes and I don't even know who else to talk to!  Most changes for the best... but now with my dad in the mix... this is just alot for me to handle!

So my first session is the 22nd!  The best part about her (the new therapist).. she specializes in eating disorders!  I thought it would be perfect since everything I went through with the LapBand!

~Mandy

Smile

My smile... always makes look happy!  But I am hurtin so much on the inside!!!

~Progress Pics~ & ~Unfortunate News~

I did not post this past weekend!  I was too busy CAMPING!  One thing I love is Camping!  I love being outdoors, sitting by the fire, most of all.....having quality time with my hubby and kids!  We went Camping at Lake Dennison, we camp in tents!  I love it!  We bought a new tent that is a 3 room vacation lodge!  It was HUGE!

So this week... hmmm Honesty HURTS!  I gained 1.4!  I knew I was going to gain, so its not like I was taken by surprise!  I guess thats what I get for not exercising and eating "What I Want"!!!  LOL.  But I hope to take those pounds off soon!  I began exercising again this week!  I am up at 4:30 am and out the house by 5 with my mom to head down to Doyle Field.  I walk a mile with her in the morning!  I am tryin to walk a mile at night too... I need to work my way back up to 3 miles a day!  I was doing good and feeling good at that point!

Truth is too though, this past 2 weeks have been HELL!  My dad went for a biopsy last week!  They punctured his lung and was having hell of pain!  The Dr would not let him go home!  Today he went for a follow up to find out about the results from the biopsy!  Stage 4 Lung Cancer!  Going to see the Oncologist on Friday!  Most likely will be starting Chemo and Radiation.  Ugghhh... really!  Why did this have to happen to him!  A wonderful man, who has a family who loves him and kids who worship him!  I can't even believe it!  I don't even know how to tell my kids!  I am more scared for them than anything!  Bumpy (my dad) is the man who takes them to the park, buys them ice cream, gives them gum when mum isn't looking!  Tonight "Lincare" came (oxygen company)~ Bumpy will be on Oxygen from now on (at bed time and during walking activities)

So the pics are just a few random photos I took cause I was feeling good!  Thought I had a few good hair days and was feelin "THIN"  LOL!  You know how you have those FAT DAYS!!!  I was havin a THIN day!  I am trying to get comfortable in my new body!  Its still hard to get the compliments too!!!!

Things have been wonderful between me and my husband!  We have been so lovable and flirty!  I think with everything we have gone though and what we are facing now...Has made us realize how valuable life is and at anytime it could just be uplifted and scare the crap out of us that we may lose one another!  Cherish every moment you have....!!!!!  

Well take care,

~Mandy