Where Have I Been

It's amazing at how life just goes so fast! Sometimes you just feel like you are the Energizer Bunny!  I can't even begin to tell you about my journey the past few months I have vanished, but I can tell you one thing!  I never wish it upon anyone!  EVER!

Well, I know I told you all that my dad was sick "Bumpy" we call him!  Bumpy was diagnosed with lung cancer back in the very end of May!  So Bumpy was going for treatment, Chemo and Radiation! In December Bumpy was having a really hard time and we had found out that the treament Bumpy was going through didn't do a Damn thing to the tumors in his lungs. So he had just began a new round of Chemo and then a week later he was just really having a hard time breathing and was shaking and trembling...

On thursday the 15th was his next Dr's appointment which we all went to! Bumpy, mum, Bumpy's Sister and Brother and me.  The Dr took a look at him and knew something wasn't right!  Sent him over for x-ray and CT Scan.  They found a pulmonary embolism in his left lung.  Was sent up to ICU, in which there were some really rough days. Monday Bumpy slept all day, was seeing things, and talking to people who weren't there.  Bumpy told the Dr he saw some old family and lights.. Bumpy asked mum if he was dying. Mum told him she wasn't a Dr and didn't know!  Early morning Wed the 21 st Bumpy was transfered to Foster Wing ... Throughout this whole time,  Me and Mum and His Brothers and Sister, were up quite often (everyday) almost all day by his side.

On Thursday morning the 22nd Me and Bumpy were in the room, the Dr came in and had a conversation with us about treatment and if Bumpy wanted to continue.. Bumpy told the Dr "I don't want to live like this, I can't live like this" and Bumpy looked at me and told me "Mandy, I am tired.  I am just tired"!  So, decisions were made and they stopped all treatment, fluids, blood tests, and just gave Bumpy the Morphine to keep him comfortable. 

Bumpy passed away on Christmas Eve 12/14 at 1:50 pm.  With me and mum holding his hand, talking to him and kissing him...

Christmas Day was spent picking out caskets, making arrangements and picking out photos and his clothes for the wake and funeral!  Ugghhhh!  

Its been rough, the week of the wake and funeral was a blur (I was dosed up on Ativan to help my nerves.) 

Well, that has been my story!  My weight has been on the back burner for quite sometime now.. But I think now it's time to focus back on me and my weight, my health, and my family! 

Happy New Year to all!  I am sure hoping 2012 is MY YEAR!

~Mandy