*Sighs*

Do u ever wonder "Why Me"???  I sure have!  The past few days have been confusing and extremely emotional!

I don't even know where to begin with how I feel!  I feel like I have put my family through so much worry and I watch them try to be strong for me...

I try to be strong for myself, but I lay in bed and cry!  I am in so much pain!  I am scared!  I don't even know what kind of infection I have!  Everything was sent to the lab to see what kind of infection it was.. and how it was caused!

I wonder to myself if I had this infection the whole time I was banded!  Is that why I was so successful with the weight loss?  Is that why I could hardly ever eat? 

I never had any fevers!  I showed no signs of sickness!

No I have this tube sticking out of my stomach sucking out the infection that lies within my body!  The infection that I got from trying to make myself "Healthier"!!!  It does not seem as though I am Healthier! 

I don't regret anything!  I would do it all over again!  I just need to vent and have no one to talk to who can really understand!  I feel as though I am alone!  No one truly understands what I am going through!